Today I was driving behind a family of six. Normally I wouldn't know that, but thanks to the frightening stickers all over their back window, I also knew that they had a cat.
They were all riding together at the same time because I assume that’s what families with family stickers do.
So the first thing that crossed my mind was that creepers are loving this new craze. Now they know who to follow home! And thanks to your way-too-much-information handy headcount, they also know their odds of successfully kidnapping one of your children.
My second thought was, why? I am very happy that you are living the American Dream and that you are unknowingly causing overpopulation, but there’s no need to advertise it. Plus, if your family looks anything like the stickers, that’s awful—maybe it’s time for a new family.
...I don't know. I guess my real problem is that I’m bitter and angry...It hurts to know that if I drove around with stickers of my future family, no one would understand.
....But this is my American Dream.
And although it might not include a husband and children standing in perfect order by height, at least I know there would be zero creepers following me home.
Dog Pyramids forever.
